Let Them Eat Cake: Alleged Shipping Miscalculation Leads to Mass Snack Giveaway


Michael Khan

Morton Moneyshot – Anonymous Student Snags an Assortment of Entenmann’s

Michael Khan, Writer

On September 27th, 2022, Morton West’s main cafeteria erupted with boisterous energy, like a volcano. A banal calm vanished as the plates moved; that is to say the boxes situated near the deli counter, which remained dormant, had gone from exciting minimal interest to causing student after student to swarm. Morton’s security detail served to open these boxes and disseminate their contents amongst the student body.

What Happened?

Aftermath of 3B Giveaway (Michael Khan)

During 3B lunch, a pallet with boxes stacked up approximately to chest length was present before the period had begun. According to impromptu interviews with Security on site during the giveaway, the boxes, and their astounding volume, are a result of a shipping miscalculation on the part of Entenmann’s parent company, Bimbo Bakeries USA. Initially drawing in a small crowd due to curiosity, the advent of security opening the boxes pictured alongside this paragraph and subsequently giving out their contents caused room-wide locomotion and commotion! Despite the abnormal excitement, I truly believe this event boosted school spirit considerably. When security asked the swarming horde to form a single-file line to get snacks, students did. I did not see one person skip one another even once, and when another student made out with upwards of an entire cardboard box and extra, the closest thing to a complaint that was uttered was excitement to do the same. Some students rolled their shirts up to carry stacks tall as their chest from their waists, while others took entire cardboard boxes, as mentioned before. Even the most unlucky of us managed to get at least two snack boxes. A lunchroom usually divided into groups, not out of malice but of regimen, truly came together. Students peered across tables to talk about what they got, and the general excitement of it all had people truly excited to be at school that day. The effects of the giveaway bled into the rest of the week, as I saw students sharing snacks with their friends and classmates all throughout then. The most succinct way to encapsulate the energy this brought to the school would be to quote my friend Justin Kobza, who said this when we realized what was happening: “That’s crazy.” (It was, in fact, quite a crazy positive experience!)

What Happens Now?

I think this giveaway showcased a couple things about this school that are quite fascinating if not important. First of all, for as much flak as we give security, they are also just people doing their jobs, and are not malicious. Not only are they real people, but they can be really kind and down-to-earth. The few I talked to during the giveaway¬† to ask about the situation were extremely helpful, and even if they didn’t know what was happening, they were really kind. Secondly, I think we all tend to forget that we genuinely are a school as a whole, but what brings us together shouldn’t be the shallow, external idea that we have to because we all attend the same school, but because we are all just people who, at the end of the day, just want to enjoy themselves enough to not just drudge through the day. Little things like this, or the music that plays in the halls between classes, or even the raffle currently going on contribute to this trend. Big events are amazing, but it’s the little things which embellish our days that make it all the more enjoyable to be here.

Once again, huge thank you to everyone involved in making the giveaway happen, especially but not exclusively, the security staff.