Everyone has their own way of showing and appreciating love. Love doesn’t have to come from romance or lust, love can simply come in a form of pureness. In Gary Chapmans self help book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate he says, “People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.” Subsequently, the five love languages presented in this book are: Words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving/receiving, quality time, and physical touch. Though everyone perceives love differently, understanding a partner’s love language can create more balance and appreciation within a relationship. Thereupon, Senior Writer Brianna Avalos interviews students about each of the five love languages.
With the opening interview, The Sterling questions Morton West student Erik Hovlid (Senior writer for The Sterling)
TS: What is your love language?
EH: “Words of affirmation.”
TS: How do hearing these words make you feel?
EH: “They usually make me feel recognized and the biggest thing is the attentiveness; hearing those words mean that you enjoy me being around.”
Words of affirmation. Words of affirmation is the act of receiving verbal acknowledgments of affection. If you don’t fall under this language but your partner does, try to communicate specific things you appreciate that your partner does. Say “thank you”, “I love you”, “I’m proud of you”, or “I appreciate you”. Make them feel the love!
TS: What is your love language?
Brett Rush (Head of English Department): “I communicate through acts of service. So when my partner needs something done, without her asking me, I can do it to lessen the load or I can run an errand for her that will give her more free time.”
TS: By doing these acts of service, how do they make you feel?
BR: “My wife really acknowledges it to me, she recognizes very quickly when I do these acts. Like not to long ago the dogs needed their shots so I took it upon myself to make the appointment and take them. She was super appreciative and her acknowledging it makes me feel really really good. It’s a point of pride that I make her life easier.”
An act of service is a person’s effort of having you or your partner go out of their way to make your life easier. For those who fall under this category, remember not to go overboard, it could be overwhelming if your partner isn’t into all of that. But if acts of service isn’t your cup of tea, don’t be afraid to let your partner express it. Communicate with your partner, possibly set some boundaries. It’s okay to say no, but let people do nice things for you! Most importantly though, always say thank you.
TS: What is your love language?
Julissa Matheny (Senior editor for The Sterling): “Gift Giving.”
TS: How does giving gifts make you feel?
JM: “It brings me happiness and self fulfillment. I want them to know I love them so I give them gifts that I know they’d like.”
Gift giving/receiving. You feel the best when you express your love by giving/receiving gifts. Gift givers remember the little things. They remember birthday’s, making sure to bring something back from a trip for someone, and peoples interests. Seeing things that remind them of their loved ones gives them an instant light bulb to buying it for them. If you don’t like giving gifts but enjoy receiving them, always show how appreciative you are of the gift. Nobody likes an ungrateful person.
TS: What is your love language?
Alberto De Santiago (Senior writer for The Sterling): “Physical touch.”
TS: How does physical touch make you feel?
AD: “It makes me feel warm and loving.”
TS: And do you like physical touch being reciprocated?
AD: “I like being in a relationship where I’m expressing physical touch but also receiving it.”
Physical touch. Physical touch is a nonverbal way one shows their love and appreciation for someone. This language could be a hit or miss. But it’s all about boundaries and being comfortable. Physical touch can go from a high five to a kiss. It doesn’t have to be expressed romantically it could be as innocent as a mom hugging her child. Most individuals who like physical touch engage in PDA. Feel the love from a tight hug, make it feel like your last every time.
TS: What is your love language?
Julian Hernandez (Morton Football Quarterback & Morton Legend): “Quality time.”
TS: How does spending quality time with someone make you feel?
JH: “I feel appreciated trough that and more memories can be made plus the overall relationship becomes healthier. It’s a nice feeling like wow they’re taking time out of their day to be with me.”
Last but not least, Quality time. According to Gary Chapmen, quality time is “… the one that centers around togetherness. It’s all about expressing your love and affection with your undivided attention.” Quality time can be bittersweet. One can just sit in the car and listen to music with a friend and have the time of their life all because they have the other person there with them. Doing nothing is doing something as long as there’s someone there to tag along. Too much time together though can ruin the excitement of seeing the other person. Keep the spark going by taking breaks to create that want and desire of seeing the other person.
Love comes in all shapes and forms. Just because you don’t understand someone’s way of expressing their love, it doesn’t mean they aren’t showing it. Love is art and a mystery. How could something so tender and passionate make someone so blind and delusional? Without a doubt, out of the 7106 living languages in the world these five are the most beautiful.
